Stray Reflections

Life is a composition of miscellaneous things. Miscellaneous events and experiences. We keep seeing different people throughout our life. People, some are good. The bible calls them “salt of the earth”. They are rare, obsolete people. Very few, like salt. Because of them, societies flourish. And then there are others. They are in abundance. The ones, if you talk to them, they spew venom. If you watch them, they wheel around. Flaunt and show off. React in awkward ways.

I had a friend. We started a joint venture. Set upon the journey. My job was to give services. Take care of the goods that I produced. His job was to market them. Make the goods appear appealing. One day he calls me. I pick up his call and tell him that I am a bit busy, would it be good if I call him after reaching home? He says ok, “I will be waiting”. But when I called him back after reaching home. He spoke to me and he was sounded offended. I inquired if everything was good. He said nothing further just said, "everything is alright”. When I approached him the next day. He said our partnership is terminated. We are no longer partners.

I contemplated on the incident very much. I kept myself agonized for a few days. It was difficult for me to reach any conclusion. To comprehend, why I did not see it coming.

Then after some substantial time. I realized that we always had a personality clash. He told me his stories of the UK. How he screwed a Londoner. He told me joyfully how he did everything that he saw in the movies, to her. He meant the obscenities. The lecherous acts. And expected me to share such things with him as well from my stay in New York.

No one is perfect. No one is a hundred percent. But I never had such experiences. Among other things that irritated him was my counting a rosary. Every drop of a beat disparaged him. Often, he used to call me mockingly a saint, a cleric, or sometimes even said that I regard myself in high esteems. I always tried to understand what he meant by these remarks. I wanted to go after the hidden agenda. Clandestine motives. Why he had so much hate against my rosary.

We all are selfish in our lives to different extents. It is good sometimes. We all have emotions. Hate, anger, lust, inferiority complex, superiority complex, and fear. They compose us. But for some of us, these instincts become ghosts. They haunt us. Abduct us from normal lives. They subdue us and then dive us nuts. I thought, his instincts have abducted him as well. Subdued him thoroughly.

He was good, most of the time. A spendthrift. Very prodigal indeed. He spent on his friends more than he earned. Often in debt to his family. I never saw him frowned whenever a friend asked for anything. Always ready to spend. Always ready to provide for.

He often asked me, “what are the shortcomings in me?”. When I pointed out, he justified them or said that he is not to be blamed. His family, his father, how they raised them. His village, his community is the one to be blamed. He acknowledged his shortcomings sometimes. But at others, he was always ready to deflect my remarks with sharp and obscene remarks of his.

There are people who can be forgiven. Then there are the ones from whom you expect decency or expect nothing at all to keep yourself tranquilized. Satisfied. Calm. But when people dodge you. You sometimes lose nerves. I inquired him once, that, “if I had fifty percent shares in our business, would he still have thrown me out?” He said the scenario would have been entirely different.

I have always believed that people are not always good, nor they are always bad. People are not always sane nor insane. People are people. Sometimes they are good, at other times they are bad. We are human. We are changing beings. We change, our bodies change, our minds change. Sometimes change is good. Sometimes it is fatal. But when one is consistently in a negative state and does not change or is not willing to change. One has to suffer. Because of one, one’s family, dear ones, closer ones have to suffer too.

Life is a jumbled up. Miscellaneous in its nature. So are wee, so are yuu. This platform is for us. For the ones who like to spend a peaceful life. Who, are normal people. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. Learning and veering around difficulties and difficult times. Moving ahead. With one objective, peace.

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